Diane Ackerman, the author of a fabulous book called Deep Play, writes about how poets, as well as scientists and composers create their best work when young. I was struck by this because I would have thought the opposite. That the more life experiences the richer their work. But she goes on to explain that (I’m paraphrasing) “…in reading their later work, while intellectually interesting, the work lacks the sense of marvel found in their earlier work.” This gave me chills because I think this is true in general about our lives, especially as we age.
What is marvel anyway? I like to think of it in terms of its synonyms rather than a dictionary definition. Think of it as wonderment, curiosity, playfulness, to be awed! Wow, wouldn’t it be great to go through life feeling this way on a regular basis? Most young children have no problem with this. That’s one of the things I loved most about raising my children, an awe-filled rediscovering of life through their eyes. They were naturally curious, playful, and adventurous about everything and I loved it.
Sadly, I also did what most parents do, which is to try and set them up for success by telling them to follow all the rules and conform – killers of marvel. There are a number of studies that show how quickly creativity and even confidence fade as children go through our educational system. But that’s a whole other blog.
I’ve conformed and “followed the rules” myself for so long that in order to have more marvel in my life, I actually schedule it, and even schedule reminders about being curious and playful on purpose. Don’t get me wrong, conforming served me well for a long time, but at what expense? I’m still figuring that out. Not to beat myself up or have regret for a past I can’t change, but to set myself up for a future and a day-to-day that I adore. And for me part of that means filling my life with marvel.
So what are some practical ways to get back to having curiosity or sense of awe about our daily life? One simple way is to get curious on purpose about things that spark interest in you or that you love, instead of letting the daily grind keep you almost automatically ignoring the spark. This is what I see so many of my clients doing until they become aware of it. There are many things that they used to be so curious about or want to do or learn more about, but now the spark gets a firehose of things like: I’m too busy, I have too much to do, I’m too old for that, I could never do that, etc. It stops their sense of marvel from even having a chance.
Here’s an easy exercise to get you started with having more marvel in your life. Consider committing at the beginning of the day to find one thing that sparks a sense of awe, or wonder, or curiosity – even if it’s a tiny spark. Acknowledge it. Give yourself a moment and space to focus on it and get curious about it. At the end of the day, ask yourself what it was and give yourself some time to journal or meditate or just think about it. If you didn’t notice anything, look back on your day and ask yourself what could you have had a sense of curiosity about? Try it again the next day. This small but simple practice is a great start to living your life with more marvel, and who doesn’t want that?
I’ll leave you with another brilliant quote from Diane “Adventure is not something you must travel to find . . . it’s something you take with you. The astonishing can turn up in the leaf clutter, or even at a neighborhood restaurant, in a dingy tank, on the lips of lobsters.” I love this!
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