When exploring new possibilities for what’s next in their lives, many of my clients will have a sudden lightbulb moment. They get super excited and are in a hurry to get busy with the business of making this thing come to be. Makes total sense. They make some progress and inevitably run into pitfalls, or realize getting the thing is harder than they anticipated for a variety of reasons. This usually doesn’t stop people the first time around. They figure out how to get past the pitfall and move on.
But if the same thing happens again, or if there’s an unhelpful pattern they’ve seen in other areas of their lives coming up in this new effort, they become discouraged about ever achieving the original desired outcome. When we get discouraged, we stop taking any meaningful steps toward what we want, slowing our progress even further – or even stopping it. It’s a vicious cycle.
Staying on track, or getting back on track, really is as simple as paying attention to what’s going on in your brain and directing it on purpose. It’s simple, but this takes effort. It’s something that I believe doesn’t end until you’re dead. It’s daily work.
We often think that once we’ve figured something out, or learned some life lesson that we shouldn’t have to deal with it again. For example, if we’ve successfully worked through procrastination on a set of tasks, we think we’ve got this procrastination thing figured out for good. Then a new set of tasks comes up and we find ourselves procrastinating again. Then we’re angry at ourselves, thinking we shouldn’t be having this “problem” again, compounding the negativity. So many of my clients aren’t even aware they’re doing this or that it’s optional because they think it’s just a fact of who they are. It’s totally not.
My recommendation: don’t do that. Instead, know that what you thought you “figured out” may show up again and again, and that’s OK! As long as you don’t make it mean something terrible about yourself, you’ll make progress. It’s the skill of not being so hard on yourself that’s one of the most valuable to learn, and it takes practice. But the more you practice it and see the positive impact to your progress, the easier it becomes.
It reminds me of when I started working out over 20 years ago. I used to hate any form of exercise. But I had a pretty sedentary job – still do – and I knew exercise was important for my long-term health. I started super slow (20 minutes slowly walking barefoot on a treadmill 3 days a week). Eventually it became so easy I couldn’t help but add more to the workout (and some decent shoes). Twenty-some years later and I now do full-on, hour-long, drenched-in-sweat workouts 5-7 days a week.
It takes time to build that mental muscle to first become aware when you’re making something mean you are defective in some way, then to remind yourself that nothing has gone wrong, and finally redirect yourself in an intentional way.
I can unlock your potential for what’s next and help you achieve your dreams. Go to my site to schedule a free consult. And if you’d like to get periodic emails when I post a blog along with special updates from me, sign up below!